‘My husband’s spider phobia drives me mad — everyone thinks I’m insensitive’

A woman has been criticised online for complaining about her husband’s fear of spiders after an eight-legged encounter in their car.

Posting on the popular Reddit forum #AITA, she explained that her husband was “pretty afraid” of spiders, and she usually had to deal with any eight-legged encounters in their home.

On this occasion, however, when the couple headed out to get some food, her husband, Mike, spotted one in the car and could not bring himself to get in the driver’s seat until it was removed.

the poster said she tried her best to retrieve the little intruder but the spider wriggled away and became lost in the car, which prompted Mike to make a remark about not driving to a wedding they were supposed to attend at the weekend. 

But when posting the dilemma online, she was told that she needed to be more sympathetic to her husband’s spider phobia. 

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She wrote: “[Mike] made a remark about not driving to my cousin’s wedding this weekend. I was really annoyed by this, the idea that a spider would prevent him from driving us to the wedding. I got a bit huffy and he got indignant at my lack of empathy. Now we’re not talking.”

She went on to say that Mike spent an entire morning searching for the spider.

She said: “Just to clarify, he is afraid of spiders but it has never been defined as Arachnophobia.

“He also spent a significant amount of time searching for the spider throughout the morning and is hopeful it has moved along or was neutralized by my attempt to catch it.”

And even though the spider was still on the loose, Mike ended up missing his bus to work and was forced to drive the car with the lurking spider. 

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Commenters on the post were not impressed by her lack of empathy, and instead told her that the “last thing he needs” is a partner who does not understand his fear. 

One commenter said: “It sounds like your husband has a bit more than a silly irrational fear. We all have those little things that scare us, but the amount that impacts life is usually minimal. He may need some help.”

And a second said: “Yep and the last thing he needs is a partner who doesn’t understand phobias.”

While a third said: “Some people have serious phobias and you as his partner should be a little bit more supportive of him. It’s not like he can control it. Take the car for an interior cleaning. Find healthy solutions.”

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