Tories unveil cringy Brexit Valentines poem – just as we head for a ‘car crash’

A top Tory joked around with a cringeworthy Valentine’s Day poem today… just as she was accused of driving MPs into a Brexit "car crash".

Andrea Leadsom read out the light-heated rhyme about Britain’s "bright future" with a "good deal" the House of Commons.

But the Commons Leader did it while unveiling Parliament’s business for next week – which experts say is drastically behind schedule.

With 43 days left before Brexit, the Hansard Society says just 422 of 600 expected "Statutory Instruments" have been laid.

They are crucial technical laws that ensure our legal system doesn’t collapse on March 29 if there is No Deal.

One of the ‘SIs’ alone is 600 pages long and weighs several kilogrammes.

Ms Leadsom said around three SIs per day will be debated per day on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday after MPs were ordered back from their February break.

Others will be pushed through behind the scenes.

But there will be none in the Commons chamber on Thursday – with MPs instead having a "general debate" on trade agreements with the US, New Zealand and Australia that don’t yet exist.

Ms Leadsom joked: " Labour is red. / Tories are blue.

"Our future is bright with a good deal in sight / For the UK and our friends in the EU."

But SNP MP Pete Wishart fumed: "They’re all going to be missing their skiing holidays and villas for this?

"There’s only 43 days before we’re supposed to leave the EU.

"This is getting beyond a joke and this government is taking this House for mugs."

Shadow Commons leader Valerie Vaz said: "This is really serious.

"Each week there is chaos. This is an appalling way to govern a country."

And Mr Wishart shot back: "Labour is red / Tories are blue / The message from Scotland is we’re staying in the EU!"

The Best For Britain campaign group, which opposes Brexit, claimed the government will need to lay seven SIs per day to meet its target.

The group claimed 8,262 pages of SIs have been written.

And with the average number of pages per SI in January being 26, over 178 SIs that means there are still 4,628 pages to be written, Best For Britain claimed.

Backer Layla Moran, a Lib Dem MP, said: "We were supposed to be taking back control but we are actually heading towards to a democratic car crash.

"The government is just trying to ride roughshod over scrutiny. No-one, whether you voted leave or remain, voted for this."

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