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Sperm extractor ‘faster than masturbation’ made for men struggling in hospital

Scientists have attempted to remove the potential embarrassment of masturbating in hospital by providing their very own sperm "extraction machine".

The purple glory hole-looking suction cup is set to help the lads out there who may be struck by anxiety when it comes to giving their physician a sample.

Donor centres across the country can be assured by the Sanwe product, a Chinese invention that has been whipped up to save the embarrassment with a machine sex hole.

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Boasting that it is "faster than our ordinary masturbation", boffins have presented the machine that should hopefully ease up those who need to have their sperm collected at a moment's notice, LadBible reports.

Speaking of the product in the unveiling video at the time, Sanwe chairman Ding Guijiang said: "Nowadays the amount of sperm [in semen] has dramatically decreased.

"Hospitals mostly use masturbation as a method [to collect sperms] and they don't provide a venue or equipment for the task.

"This makes collecting sperm on the spot very difficult. Under such circumstances, in order to meet clinical demands, we invented this automatic sperm extractor equipment, which is also friendly to use."

For the Black Mirror-like machine to come in a man's time of need, it would appear the product would replicate the "standards" of a vagina, LADBible reported.

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Sexpert Ding added: "In terms of temperature, wetness and amount of light, it is able to meet certain standards and simulate a vagina.

"Meanwhile, it can also replicate the physical movements of sexual intercourse by moving back and forth. Also [it simulates] vaginal contraction, which cannot be realised by the normal human body.

"It is able to, by a huge extent, provide comprehensive coverage and pressure."

Despite the machine's entry point looking like the foil draped over a tub of Nutella, the machine went down a storm in China, with doctor Li Siming saying it was "more efficient than masturbation."

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